1. If grocery stores operated the same way as Steam.

    1. Grocer: Hello, sir. How may I help you today?
    2. Customer: I would like some ice cream, please.
    3. Grocer: (suspiciously) What do want that ice cream for?
    4. Customer: Um, well... I'm having a party and I already bought a lovely chocolate cake and I thought it would be nice to have some ice cream to go with it.
    5. Grocer: A likely story. One question, though... where did you buy that cake?
    6. Customer: Where-- wha-- why does that matter?
    7. Grocer: Did you or did you not buy that cake from us?
    8. Customer: Uh... no, actually. I bought it from that bakery down the street.
    9. Grocer: I'm gonna need to see a receipt.
    10. Customer: A receipt? Are you serious?
    11. Grocer: I'm deadly serious, sir. Cake piracy is a serious crime. I need to know that you're not going to eat this ice cream alongside your ill-gotten cake.
    12. Customer: Um, okay... one receipt for chocolate cake.
    13. Grocer: (inspecting the receipt) Okay... this seems legit. I'll let you buy the ice cream... this time. But you really should buy all of your food directly from us from this point forward. You know... for convenience.
     
  2. 09:33 19th Jul 2014

    Notes: 4

    Tags: musiccake

    Plays: 4

    Cake - “Rock ‘n’ Roll Lifestyle

     
  3. 22:08 18th Jul 2014

    Notes: 4

    Somebody told me to “go back to where [I] came from” today…

    It’s such a strange feeling… being the object of misdirected racism. It’s not the first time it’s happened to me (usually only in the summer after I’ve been working outdoors long enough to develop a nice, olive tan), but it’s been so long since it’s happened that I forgot what it felt like.

    It’s just… odd…

     
  4. 11:16 16th Jul 2014

    Notes: 2382

    Reblogged from marxisforbros

    Tags: immigrationlanguage

    Immigration, a lexicon. You’re a ‘migrant’ when you’re very poor; ‘immigrant’ when you’re not so poor; and ‘expat’ when you’re rich.
     
  5. 12:55 15th Jul 2014

    Notes: 1

    I just need to get my life back together and start updating my tumblr again.

     
  6. 07:42 13th Jul 2014

    Notes: 39619

    Reblogged from pummarola

    Tags: white people

    ajantas:

    white people are like “why don’t you live in India” and I’m just thinking why don’t you live in 12.5% Germany 25% England 25% Australia 6.25% Sweden 18.75% Russia and 12.5% Italy??????

     
  7. Plays: 60

    The Buchanan Brothers - (When You See) Those Flying Saucers

     
  8. Plays: 14

    Les Surfs -  “Reviens vite et oublie” (French cover of “Be My Baby”)

     
  9. 13:22

    Notes: 12

    Tags: auto correct

    People like to joke about Auto-Correct messing up all the time, but I’ve honestly never had any provolone with it.

     
  10. Plays: 14

    John Prine & Iris Dement - Let’s Invite Them Over

    (originally performed by George Jones & Melba Montgomery)